Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass. Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4-5 (NKJV)
In December of 2018, my husband and I made a decision that would change our lives forever. After swiping right, we connected on a popular dating app. After several three-hour phone conversations, plenty of praying, tons of laughter and thanking God later we found ourselves walking in love and purpose.
Now that you know how we met. I would like to set the scene for you. I was approaching my 28th birthday and I was still single. By then, I got all types of questions about my relationship status as well as my sexuality (rolls eyes). Yup that’s right girl…people had begun asking me if I was secretly homosexual. I suppose it was because I was single and abstinent. Or maybe because I was happy about it too. After years of praying and studying to become a “good wife” I was over it. I was single and satisfied! At the end of my rope with any and all single ministries. I didn’t want one more person telling me how to be a Godly wife. I had been hoping and praying for a husband for a few years as well as taking courses and learning how to be a good wife etc.
Do not misunderstand me. Those things served me in the long run. They were valuable investments. I was just at a place in my life where they no longer served me. I began to spend more of my time serving and less time receiving.
I think it’s important that we discuss where I was in my life and relationship with God. Fresh off my Sextember blog series (a month of ministry including blogs and Instagram lives on why I chose abstinence). I was working on my daddy issues. I was active in my church serving in the children’s ministry as well as tithing. I was spending Wednesday nights with women of God in my small group from church. I had just started my journey towards weight loss surgery. I had a lot going on and I was loving it. I was vacationing with my best friend who lives in Nashville…. going out to concerts, restaurants and just living! It was a whole vibe! Most importantly I felt closer to God than ever. I could hear His voice so clearly.
Honey I was ready to be the fineeeee auntie and just live my life. Disinterested in any fools trying to come into my life and mess up my rotation. I was side stepping many advances from men that wanted to waste my time or my goodies.
I didn’t know if or when God would bring me a husband and I was ok with that. I knew my “biological clock was ticking” and I was okay with that. I was at a place where I had truly surrendered the desire to be married and have children. Before this time, there were other times where I thought I had surrendered that desire to God, but I was just playing myself. You see we can never play God he knows our hearts. Therefore, I was just playing myself and pretending to be content. It wasn’t until I was truly content with being who I was that God introduced me to the love of my life.
Don’t get too excited! There will be tests and trials after you meet the man God has for you. There will be counterfeits prior to meeting the man God has for you. Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a counterfeit as something made in imitation of something else with intent to deceive. Therefore, when I speak of counterfeits, I mean men that pretended to be the type of man God created for me. Those counterfeits surely looked and acted the part, but they were just not him. The best thing you can do is cultivate your relationship with the Father. Let God lead you; He will never steer you wrong.
Ok let’s get back to the beginning of my blog. We met via online dating. At the time, I wasn’t too interested in it. However, a friend dared me to give it a try for 30 days. During the 30 days, my friend and I would also be praying.
We prayed for covering – to protect me from any counterfeits that may filter their way through during my process. We also prayed to ensure that I guarded my heart and only allowed someone in that was approved by the Holy Spirit. Another prayer we prayed was for me to be led by the Holy Spirit throughout this process. After 18 days, I had been introduced to quite a number of frogs and gave up. I deleted the app. The very next day my friend called to ask me how it was going (truly DEVINE intervention). I told her I gave up yesterday because the online dating scene had become aggravating. She reminded me of the dare and the prayers we had been praying. I said ok and downloaded the dating app again. This time I was more strategic, I paid for premium features since I would only be on there for less than 30 days anyway and my time was valuable. So why not? I spend more money on food in a day then the cost to upgrade the dating app for a month. The premium features allowed me to weed out more men and get focused especially since I didn’t want to spend a lot of time on the app…. remember in the beginning how we discussed that I was booked and busy!
If you are truly desiring love and God believes you are ready, He will lead you to that love. I tried online dating in the past and it did not turn out well for ya girl. I met a couple of guys even the last time around while I was trying online dating before meeting my husband and guess what those first two weren’t him. The reason I finally met the jewel for my crown this time around was because I felt led of the Spirit. I was also listening to a powerful and prayerful friend who had power and authority to speak good things into my life. Online dating might not be for you, but the same principles apply. Whatever you do make sure you are prayerful and have good motives.
My husband found me during a time in my life when I had finally realized that I wasn’t alone and never would be. I was at a place where I reached a level of contentment in God’s love! Which is my prayer for you.
In Psalm 84:11, the Word of God says that He will not withhold any GOOD thing from you. When most people quote that scripture, they forget to mention the end, “the LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right”. Psalm 84:11 (NLT)….Sis, are you doing what is right? No, I am not speaking of perfection, I am asking about your heart posture. All this time you thought God was holding you back but what if you are the one holding yourself back? Are you busy waiting? Meaning do you have a relationship with God? Are you active at your church or in your community? Are you serving? Are you building your business or even working on untangling yourself from the mistakes of your past? Are you actively working on healing from the trauma of your past? Are you still doing the last thing the Lord told you to do? Where is your heart? Where is your focus? I pray that it is on God and I pray that this account of my own testimony blesses you.
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