Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18 (NLT)
Welcome back to the Sextember Series. This month we are spending time reflecting on and discussing sex. God placed a burden on my heart to share what I’ve learned with you. Today let’s discuss my journey with sexual purity. As of today, I am 21 months 2 weeks and 4 days abstinent. It’s only fair that I provide you with more background on myself prior to continuing this series.
In my initial blog of the series, SEXTEMBER SERIES: THE EFFECTS OF INTIMACY, I promised to divulge why I chose celibacy. To be completely transparent, I didn’t choose the celibate life. The celibate life chose me. By this, I mean that God decided I would be chosen and set apart for His purposes.
God pursued me for years, asking me to believe in Him, love Him and fully commit to living for Him. God was patient with me and took His time with me. He met me where I was at. I briefly spoke about the way God wooed me in my first blog post Relationship Vs. Religion.
When I was 17, I thought I was saved because I believed in Jesus. However, I was not living right or walking with the Lord. I wasn’t even reading my Bible back then. I would take Bible verses and quote them here and there. Then go on about my business living my life as I saw fit. I had a very vague understanding of what it meant to have a relationship with Jesus.
At that time, there was one thing God continually asked me to give up that I didn’t want to. It was sex. I was one of those people who felt like it didn’t take all that. Other sins like stealing and killing were obvious no-gos for me. However, saving sex for marriage with raging hormones didn’t make sense.
Now let’s we fast forward to a couple of relationships later when I got dumped two days after my 25th birthday and was left to go on a vacation by myself. I was devastated by the breakup which led to a great deal emotional suffering inevitably causing heartbreak. It took me over a year to really process that. However, after my last relationship, I knew something had to change.
God had been urging me for a while to stop having sex. I would often try to rationalize it with this is the man I’m going to marry anyway. Or this is the guy I’m in a committed relationship with. And each time I had sex it grieved my spirit. I would get up feeling empty. In the midst of things my flesh was satisfied but my soul was not. I craved something much deeper.
I didn’t know what I needed or craved but I knew I had to make some changes. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over yet expecting different results. I kept doing relationships my way expecting different results. I finally decided it was time to do things God’s way. All the heartbreak and pain I’d face by age 26 eventually led me to the arms of the Father. Where, again, he asked me to give up pre-marital sex promising to satisfy me. One day, I chose to believe Him. One day, I decided to choose the will of God for my life above everything else. I chose (daily) to love Jesus with everything that I have, every fiber of my being, and all that is in me.
I decided if God wanted me to stop having sex before I was married I would. With that decision, God began to educate me. Helping me understand how, in the past, I allowed the enemy to use men to manipulate me. “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:12 (NLT)
God showed me that the agape love I desire will come as I continue to seek Him. God taught me that He is the one who placed that desire in my heart. God showed me what it means to have a Godly marriage. I have learned so much! Yet there is still so much more to learn. A lot of people want a great career or a thriving relationship not realizing that they aren’t truly equipped to handle that blessing. God is equipping me for the burden in the blessing of a Godly marriage.
The bottom line is that in a world full of choices I chose me. In a world where some people will try to diminish you by telling you that you mean nothing – I want to tell you that to your creator you are everything. God loves you. I finally understand that God loves me and now I love me.
The Word: Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18 (NLT)
The Story/The Lesson: In 2016, I gave up engaging in pre-marital sex taking a vow of abstinence. I finally decided that I wanted to live for God. I decided that I love myself way more than sleeping with someone in exchange for their time or companionship. I learned to value and love myself in a way that I’ve never known before. Thank you, God, for never giving up on me! God changed the trajectory of my life and I am forever grateful.
Bonus: Worship God with your life! Put Jesus on the throne of your heart. Let the well of living water satisfy you. Take a listen to some good worship – Satisfy (Live) (feat. Vaughan Phoenix & Tasha Cobbs)
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