So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Galatians 6:9 (NLT)
I remember having a conversation with my friend Tamara sometime in September. We were discussing some of the prayers we sent up on behalf of one another. When the conversation took a turn and went something like this:
Tamara: I hear God calling us to fast.
Me: Aww okay, cool. What are we going to do, a 7 day fast?
Tamara: Nah, more like 40 days.
Me: What?! You hear God calling us to fast for 40 days?! (Cue the dramatics: Rolls eyes and pops lips) Chileeeee not another fast!
In my heart, I knew Tamara was right. I felt the Word she’d given, confirmed in my spirit, prior to her even telling me. I knew God wanted me to fast, but I was in denial. So, God sent a message through my friend. At that point, I was just like…Why Jesus?! Why?! Then when she said 40 days, I felt myself getting light-headed like I was about to pass out.
I kept thinking to myself, chose someone else God, because I’m tired. Haven’t I done enough in 2018 to last the entire year? Not to mention, I had two vacations planned in October. Who wants to fast while on vacation? Not me. Long story short, I prayed then God gave me wisdom and grace in order to proceed in obedience.
I cannot even begin to articulate the level of spiritual warfare me and my friend faced during those 40 days. It felt as if the devil was riding our backs with temptation and pressure. I had people putting me on impossible pedestals. I had unrealistic deliverables being requested from me at work. People I love began trying to use me as their own personal (emotional) punching bags. I had difficulties in my finances. I had to remove some people from my life and even had a few people walk out of my life.
The fast was completed in early November but the spiritual warfare has only intensified since then. There is more pressure, more pressing, and more pruning. “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds.” 2 Corinthians 10:4 (KJV)
Many unfortunate things have occurred. This has been a year of extreme highs and lows in my life. I’ve gotten to the point where bitterness has been trying to creep in and have me operate in a spirit of rebellion. One thing has happened on top of another and another trying to break me. All the sudden, I was sexually frustrated and being tempted beyond measure. It seems like I had just completed our Sextember Series. During September, I wrote multiple blogs concerning sex from my perspective as an abstinent Christian. I’ve shared a lot of what I’ve learned and even hosted a live Q&A as well as answered questions on Instagram regarding the topic. You can read the blogs here SEXTEMBER SERIES: THE EFFECTS OF INTIMACY and SEXTEMBER SERIES: THE CELIBATE LIFE CHOSE ME. There is also more information on our Instagram page @thelovejcministry .
I’ve gotten a lot of great feedback from the Sextember Series and regarding my ministry in general. I feel blessed that in sharing my experiences I’ve been able to encourage others. In fact, a lot of people have called me superhuman due to the amount of resilience I’ve displayed. I’m not super anything outside of super tired. If it wasn’t for the grace of God, I’m not sure where I would be. I just pray! A lot! And practice self-control!!! Sometimes I don’t even want to do that. I am so far away from home – 765 miles to be exact! I’m here in Charlotte, NC trying to stay in the will of God for my life, operating in purpose, but so far away from home (Chicago, IL).
I’m struggling to hold on and stay faithful during these difficult times. I am tempted as Job was to curse God (Job 2:9) and go back to what was comfortable…SIN. I’m not ashamed to say it. I know you see all these happy clappy Christians but this ain’t that type of party. No shade but that ain’t everybody’s story. At this point, you may realize that the hood side of me has come out. Oh well, I must be authentic.
I’m not miserable or anything. I want you to understand that I always have joy. The joy of the Lord is my strength (Nehemiah 8:10). However, right now, my joy meter is low. God tells me to encourage others when I don’t even feel encouraged. I’m staying faithful in the mist of the storm. Still blessing others, serving and worshiping the Lord. I keep doing the right thing, but the wrong things keep happening.
I’m not writing this for sympathy. Don’t feel sorry for me! I want you to know that its OK to feel and its OK to be weary. God never expected us to have it all together. God knew we would need a Savior that’s why He sent Jesus! However, God did tell us DO NOT GIVE UP. So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Galatians 6:9 (NLT)
The good thing is that this is just a season. This too shall pass.
Related Blogs: BEING TESTED – PRUNING SEASON
The Word: So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Galatians 6:9 (NLT)
The Story/The Lesson: It is OK to be tired, to be weary, and to be human. Don’t be ashamed to ask (someone you can trust) for prayer. You aren’t expected to be the Savior! God sent us Jesus, but DO NOT GIVE UP. Make sure to ask the Holy Spirit what you need to do. Be real with Him, have candid conversations with your creator. Remember the battle is not yours, it belongs to the Lord.
Bonus: Will you come to the alter with me? Lets lay all of our burdens down at the feet of Jesus. Let the well of living water satisfy you. He has everything you need. Lets get started with some good worship – O Come To The Altar / Jesus I Come feat. Israel Houghton| Elevation Collective
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