Sextember Series: The Effects of Intimacy 

Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18 (NLT)

Welcome to our Sextember Series where we are spending time this month to reflect on and discuss sex. I’m not a Bible scholar and I didn’t attend seminary. However, God placed a burden on my heart to share what I’ve learned with you. All the knowledge in this blog comes from either personal experience or research. My perspective is that of a single woman that has been abstinent for 21 months, 1 week and 4 days. I will discuss why I chose to become abstinent in another blog.

I pray that you can receive this message with an open heart and clear mind. I pray that this can help someone choose the salvation of their soul as opposed to the carnal desires of their flesh. I’m a firm believer that once you know better you should do better. Please do better! I also believe that you should take these things to the feet of the Father and pray that He reveals them to you in your own life either past or present. Don’t just take my word for it, search the scriptures and do your own research! Now with that being said, let’s talk about sex baby! Let’s talk about sex!!!

Spiritual Effects of Intimacy 


Here is my favorite definition of soul ties by Terri Savelle Foy: Soul ties are formed through close friendships, through vows, commitments and promises, and through physical intimacy. Not all soul ties are bad. God wants us to have healthy relationships that build us up, provide wisdom, and give godly counsel. Read more here:

In the Bible, King David and Johnathan were best friends that were bonded by a soul tie. 1 Samuel 18:1 says that “after David had finished speaking with Saul, the souls of Jonathan and David were knit together, and Jonathan loved him as himself.” The Bible states that their souls were literally “KNIT TOGETHER” this is the result of their close connection as best friends. That’s deep. Now can you image how much more sex intensifies a bond??? Think souls knit together times 100!!!

In the context of this blog, we are discussing the soul ties created as a result of sex outside of marriage.  These are bad soul ties that are often difficult to break. When I think about an unhealthy soul tie, I often consider toxic relationships. Girl, I’ve seen men treat women like dogs. Literally lie, cheat, and steal from them yet the woman keeps going back. I’ve also known men to be physically and verbally abused by women who they keep going back to although she emasculates him. This peculiar behavior is usually the result of an unhealthy soul tie.

An unhealthy soul tie will have you banging down the door of someone who beat you down and ruined your credit. Don’t do it sis, keep the cookie in the cookie jar. In case you may need this, here is a very good prayer I found online to pray for deliverance from ungodly soul ties.

soul tie prayers

Prayer for Deliverance from Soul Ties



I know that you may not believe in demons sis but they exist. Unlike God, the devil is not omnipresent and cannot always be in all places. He has agents that he sends out into the world to wreak havoc in your life daily. In Luke 10:18 Jesus tells his disciples “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven.” (NKJV) Then in Revelation 12:9 we read “this great dragon—the ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, the one deceiving the whole world—was thrown down to the earth with all his angels.” (NLT)

There are many different types of demonic entities and evil spirits. I don’t know them all, but I am familiar with spirit husbands and wives. When you engage in premarital sex you are giving the enemy a foothold to operate in your life. One of the consequences I suffered was a spirit husband I needed to be delivered from. This particular spirit attached itself to me and caused discord in my relationships. I would literally have a fight with my now ex -boyfriend… then five minutes later not even know what we were fighting about. The spirit also tries to have sex with you in your sleep. I would often wakeup from wet dreams with wet panties feeling beyond disgusted.

I’ve been told that these spirits are territorial and will block you from being in a relationship or being found by your spouse. For example, you can literally hit it off with someone you meet while out on the town. Then they suddenly lose interest. Sometimes men cannot perform for their significant others because they have been physically drained by spirit wives. Pray and seek God on this one. You may have an ungodly attachment to a spirit masking itself under the guise of fatigue, anger, or other feelings/emotions.

demonic ties

What demonic spirits are you carrying around daily?

Natural Effects of Intimacy 

Some of the natural effects of intimacy include but are not limited to unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). I won’t spend too much time here because I don’t feel led to. Honestly it seems like people have tried to drill the possibilities of an unplanned pregnancy and STDs into our minds as scare tactics. I think the best thing to do is educate yourself on these things.

Maybe getting pregnant doesn’t bother you because you want to be a mother anyway. How about getting pregnant by the wrong man? That should bother you. The child you will carry is ½ of that man’s genetic and spiritual makeup. The child will be affected by bloodlines and generational curses passed down from both sides. Not to mention the potential for baby mamma/daddy drama.

The rise of STD diagnoses continues to grow in the US on an annual basis. Take a look at the chart below from the CDC. I recommend you get informed about STDs and get tested on a regular basis. There are some STDs that can lay dormant. Sis, you can literally get tested and come back clean then go back to the doctor 6 months down the line with something that did not show up on your original screening. Although I’m abstinent, I still ask my doctor to test me each time I visit.


I know that was a lot to digest and there is so much more that we could discuss. However, I want you to seek God on the things we discussed. Don’t take my word for it, search the scriptures and ask God. All things considered, I hope you take the Apostle Paul’s advice and flee fornication. Don’t walk…” Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” 1 Corinthians 6:18 (NLT)

Also, don’t beat yourself up for desiring sex. That craving you have for sex is usually rooted in a deep desire and need for intimacy. It’s natural for you to desire intimacy. We are all relational beings, it is the way God created us. However, your environment or upbringing may have you thinking you desire sex. In all actuality you desire GOD. You crave God. That is why you’re here reading this. That is why when you get up out of that bed with someone who is not your husband you still crave intimacy. Seek Jesus on how to become more intimate with Him.

It is perfectly ok to save yourself for marriage in a culture that has vilified marriage. Don’t continue to suffer from a loss of vitality because you want to please your flesh. When you have sex with someone and your souls become knit together you inherit all that that person is, all they were and all they have been. Is it worth it? You may say but sis… the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak! I say to you that your flesh is weak that is why you should be depending on the Holy Spirit not your flesh.

Sex is so powerful. I wish you could see it in the spirit realm. I wish you understood how much the demons you let into your life by engaging in sex outside of marriage torment you. I wish you understood that you cannot see the person your dating clearly because you have an ungodly soul tie with them. Yet, all I can do it be obedient and write this blog. I hope it blessed you.

The Word: Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18 (NLT)

Bonus: Check out this really good video on BREAKING SOUL TIES and this wonderful teaching called Sexual Wholeness these resources blessed me!


© 2018 The Love JC Ministry, all rights reserved.

13 thoughts on “Sextember Series: The Effects of Intimacy 

  1. Corey young says:

    The soul ties are very real. I had one when i was younger and it lasted almost 10 years. This spiritual husband and wife. That you speak of is interesting. I would have never thought about wording it that way. I do have a question how does those relationship that have sex before they get married and things of that nature workout. People creating these soul ties and things like this get married and stay married for years is that just luck that it worked out or just faith that they met the one that god has sent for them. I enjoyed this article and learned some things from it. Thanks for sharing this


    • thelovejcministry says:

      Hi Corey thank you for your support and I am glad you enjoyed the article. In regard to your question….We don’t know the intricate details of their processes. However, they could have repented and broke the soul ties to have a fresh start prior to consummating their union. Or they could have paid for the sin later down the line with issues in their marriage we just don’t know about… ie infidelity, miscarriages, etc… also when the devil brings people together for his purpose to make those unions look good but we can’t see what really has transpired. Everything that glitters isn’t gold. Other than that I’m just not sure I don’t know everything. Pray and seek God about this.


  2. Jacqueline says:

    I loved this article and the different topics covered. It’s real in these streets with soul ties and spiritual husbands. I just had a dream about a person who I know believe is still attached to me. Even though it wasn’t a wet dream…this person called out my sons name in the dream. So not only does it latch onto you but your seed….your children. Thank you for sharing the wisdom God has given you. A really good must read sis!! Proud of you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thelovejcministry says:

      Hey Sis thank you for your kind words they are truly appreciated! The Holy Spirit put me up to sharing and Im glad he did. I am so glad this blessed you and I will be keeping you and your child in prayer. Xoxo


  3. lashesandcrowns says:

    This post was so needed! Thank you for shedding light on the dangers of sexual fornication that does damage to our spirits. I have been attacked by a spirit husband as well during the night and have woken up out of my sleep as if I was about to have an orgasm and it scared the mess out of me! I have committed to no physical intimacy with a man outside of marriage but the temptation can be very difficult to fight at times. And I have learned and am learning how important it is to guard our hearts. I am just seeking deliverance from soul ties that I need to break in my life right now. Thank you for being obedient and speaking on a topic that should not be silenced!

    Liked by 1 person

    • thelovejcministry says:

      Thank you sis! I’m glad I was able to reach you, I was only able to share information that the Lord has provided me. Your honesty and transparency are welcomed here. This is a no judgment zone! I really truly appreciate you because you don’t know just how much how your truth can bless the next person. I will be praying for you to be fully delivered.


  4. Deschaine Rideaux says:

    Sis… U ain’t speaking nothing but the truth of Jesus! Smh I thank God that He’s finally delivered me from the spiritual husband(s) I had for a while, but I can’t act like I didn’t have a part in it. Not only did I allow access thru premarital sex, but I was also being disobedient in not cutting off the exs completely like the Holy Ghost said (Smh). Once I finally let go of my past & the toxic relationships (both w/him & so-called “friends”/family) my life has been changing for the better! My spiritual & personal maturity, self-respect, & discernment/wisdom elevated to the next level!…. It’s like I can’t afford to go back around that mountain of insanity again, no matter how much temptation is presented to me. Yes, of course I desire relational/sexual intimacy, but not at the cost of displeasing Abba, obtaining another demonic soul tie(s), or an incurable disease. I’ll wait…

    Liked by 1 person

    • thelovejcministry says:

      Hey sis thanks you for your honesty and transparency regarding your process. Us being open helps others to heal and encourages them to seek the Father for deliverance. People really don’t realize that they cannot move into all Jesus has for them holding on to the past. Its been a great lesson for us both. Praise God for his grace and mercy through everything.


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